John MacArthur had some excellent thoughts on provoking our children to anger, “Don’t just teach your children external self-control; train them to understand temptation and resist it. Don’t just teach them manners; teach them why pride is sinful and why greed, lust, selfishness, and covetousness dishonor God. Punish them for external offenses, but teach them that the root issue is always a deeper problem – corruption in their hearts. When you correct them, don’t do it merely to satisfy you as the offended, irritated, frustrated parent. That’s anger; it’s vengeance. But when you correct them help them to see that it is first of all God who has been offended and that He offers reconciliation through Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20).”
Resources on Parenting
- Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp
- Instructing a Child’s Heart by Tedd & Margy Tripp
- Don’t Make Me Count to Three: A Mom’s Look at Heart-Oriented Discipline by Ginger Plowman
How can you provoke your child into anger (Eph. 6:24)? …Here are some easy steps:
- Spoil him.
- Give him everything he wants, even more than you can afford. Just charge it so you can get him off your back.
- When he does wrong, nag him a little but don’t spank him.
- Foster his dependence on you. Don’t teach him to be independently responsible. Maintain his dependence on you so later drugs and alcohol can replace you when he’s older.
- Protect him from all those mean teachers who want to discipline him from time to time. And threaten to sue them if they don’t let him alone.
- Make all of his decisions for him because he might make mistakes and learn from them if you don’t.
- Criticize his father to him, or his mother, so your son or daughter will lose respect for his parents.
- Whenever he gets into trouble, bail him out. Besides if he faces any real consequence, it might hurt your reputation.
- Never let him suffer the consequences of his behavior. Always step in and solve his problems for him so he will depend on you and run to you when the going gets tough and never learn how to solve his problems.
- If you want to turn your child into a delinquent, let him express himself anyway he feels like it.
- Don’t run his life, let him run yours.
- Don’t bother him with chores. Do everything for him then he can be irresponsible all his life and blame others when things don’t get done right.
- Be sure to give in when he throws a temper tantrum.
- Believe his lies because it’s too much hassle to try to sort through to get the truth.
- Criticize others openly; criticize others routinely so that he will continue to realize that he is better than everybody else.
- Give him a big allowance and don’t make him do anything for it.
- Praise him for his good looks, never for character.